He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
