Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
