as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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