What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
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