my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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