Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I just forgot I was standing up.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
