I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Randomize
