arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
