College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize