All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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