on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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