if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
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we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
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I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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