By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
