If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
She announced her abortion via fbk
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
