Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
