I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
