when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
