mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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