he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Randomize
