Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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