Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
