don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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