just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
