ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
