her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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