we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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