Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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