We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
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By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
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Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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