Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I want a musical about memes.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
