I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you win again, gameday.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
