Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
he wants to bone in the snuggie
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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