I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
