handjob tips. give me some.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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