did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
