I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
