I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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