I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Terrible idea I love it
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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