I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
not ubering you a puppy
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
