my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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