You're completely useless in the revolution.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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