your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
