Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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