My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize