I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
