Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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