Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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