My entire life is one complicated drinking game
im holly from the hills drunk
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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