it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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