I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
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couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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