Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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