I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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