found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Fuck appropriateness.
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And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
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I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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