i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
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I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
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And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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