i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
