Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(310): View more from California

my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook

Fav 34 1362 5400
share tweet
(203): View more from Connecticut

I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.

Fav 43 4477 4859
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(416): View more from Toronto

You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..

Fav 5 4552 1117
share tweet
(904): View more from Florida

So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?

Fav 14 5893 2118
share tweet
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
Read it at the TFLN blog
(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.

Fav 3 1772 993
share tweet
(407): View more from Florida

Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear

Fav 3 1402 628
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(954): View more from Florida

Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven

Fav 2 754 504
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(952): View more from Minnesota

Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off

Fav 0 703 375
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(778): View more from British Columbia

Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.

Fav 0 144 101
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT