dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
These 21 Declassified Government Horrors Are Unimaginable
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked