we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
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