Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
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my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.