just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
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