Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
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Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
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I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero