I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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