dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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