If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Randomize
