Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
