shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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