I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
