i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
be right there i have to get my cape
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
