I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
