Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
