um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
