I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
