Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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