you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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