a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
