Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
