If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
