so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
